For those who are trumpeting the fact that Megan Fox and Jennifer’s Body were beaten at the Box Office by Meatballs, I just want to say, she wasn’t the only one! Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs outdrew all three superstars.
Like most horror or horror-like films, Jennifer’s Body didn’t exactly break records. Films like this find it hard to draw in large crowds because you can’t take kids to them, they don’t strike most people as good date movies or family films.
Plus, come on, how many females grab their sweetheart and say, “Let’s go watch Megan Fox eat people?! Then, when she’s through, she’ll kiss a girl…” Most are perfectly content to keep Miss Megan’s image far, far, far away from their significant other.
Damage control.
As a fan of all three of these stars, I have to say I’m pretty sure they’ll survive their meatball slaughter.
On a positive note, Megan got a lot of great reviews for her acting – I’ll type them in and post the ones I’ve seen later today. She proved that she’s perfectly capable of humor as well as action and drama. I’m really proud of the job she did!
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Megan is definitely a skilled actress. But I think I speak for all of us when I say that I wish she was better recognized as a great talent that she is, not as the glamor flavor of the month. How can she make that happen?
My answer is that she should go back to roots of the American filmmaking tradition and perform in the most American and arguably most purely cinematic genre of them all – the Western. And the right director for Megan would be the one who is able to recognize Megan’s inner strength as well as her femininity. In essence, the director who makes feminist Westerns.
At the moment, there is only one filmmaker I’m aware of who fits this formula, but he’s all that and much more. His name is Max Hardcore.
We, the loyal Megan Fox fans, realize that behind Megan’s beautiful face lurks a future brilliant actress. That’s why it’s so important for Megan to work with Max Hardcore at least once. Nobody brings out the hidden talents in women as well as Max does, especially when it comes to great acting!
Megan said herself that she’s interested in doing an art film, right? Well, that’s the problem – they just don’t make the art movies like they used to in the good old days! That’s why Megan’s best bet is Max Hardcore – perhaps the only true artist remaining in today’s somewhat stale world of cinema, and, in addition to that, a great freedom fighter with deep understanding of the everyday struggles and problems of a little man!
It might seem like a harsh generalization at first, but if you think of it, Max is the only filmmaker today whose work is so layered and complex. He’s excellent at the Western genre. In fact, there are only six directors of Westerns who managed to achieve true greatness – John Ford, Anthony Mann, Howard Hawks, Sergio Leone, Sam Peckinpah and Max Hardcore. Sure, you might name dozens of other fine filmmakers in this wonderful genre, but only these six are so good that they’re sublime! Please note that Max started his work much later than all the others, and he can be seen as the only follower of the great Western tradition to reach the level of excellence of those old masters, and he still managed to bring the twist to the genre that is completely his own. How can you beat that?
On the other hand, he’s today’s version of The Great Slashtubitch. And he’s the world’s greatest satirist since Vasiliy Travnikov!
Megan’s personal gains from doing a project like that are innumerable. First, she can improve the relationship with her family. Many scenes made by Max feature his female costars looking directly at the camera and saying things like “Hi mommy! Look what I can do!” And also: “Hi daddy! Are you proud of your little girl? I’m an actress now!” Besides, Max encourages them to bring their little sisters, which is an invaluable tool of building healthy sisterly relationships. (On a side note, this will also be an example of breaking the fourth wall, which is a necessary kick in the teeth of today’s all too academic film grammar.)
Besides, Megan, like many young stars, must be struggling to control her weight. Max is one of the most renowned and respected nutritionists in all of showbiz, and he enthusiastically teaches his costars to keep themselves, in the words of the man himself, “nice and skinny”.
As Max is a brilliant satirist, Megan can showcase her intelligence and social awareness by appearing in one of his videos.
Finally, I think we can all agree that when the images of Megan Fox drinking Max Hardcore’s urine will hit the big screens all around the world, all the people will feel a little more liberated. I’m sure that’s the important goal for Megan, and for each and every one of us.
Unfortunately, Max has been put in prison for all the wrong reasons, showing that the legal system of USA is still far from perfect. I think we should all unite and do what we can to convince the Government of USA, and Barrack Obama personally, that it’s a matter of extreme cultural and social importance to release Max Hardcore from prison and persuade Megan Fox to participate in his newest project.
Join our cause. Don’t be just another number.